Dancing with no underpants.... ing

I don't wear underwear.  Excuse me, I rarely wear underwear.  The only pants requiring underwear on my part are those slacks that are so sheer, a lack of bloomers would amount to indecent exposure.  Plenty of people choose to abstain from the shackles of underwear, but I am always asked why.  Here's the best explanation I can muster:

External organs do not agree with underwear.  I have tried them all.  Boxers have a seam that tries to separate my fellas, briefs feel as though my testicles are in a vacuum-sealed bag for dry winter storage, boxer briefs  do a little of both.  

When I do wear it, it's boxer briefs.  Compression shorts work well, but they can get a little aggressive, so I tend to use them sparingly.  

Men in countries around the world, and throughout history, wear skirts. Rugby dudes in the UK wear kilts, Japanese samurai wore sarongs, the Polynesian linebackers wear lava-lavas.  Why can't guys here be manly and wear something as incredibly comfortable as a skirt? I'm not going into the socio-cultural discussion on here. But I would enjoy to let the boys have a break every now and then.

This prefaces the story. I went to a house party the other night.  It was fun, better than a frat party (which I went to later), and a little more my style than a club.  I talked to a girl, we danced.  Talked to another girl, we danced. Lather, rinse, repeat.  Finally, a girl and I danced in a more meaningful way.  Of course I mean the thing we do that looks like standing sex with clothes on.  I got really hard dancing with her, and she obviously knew it.  Her hands found their way to the goods more than a few times.  Every time she had the chance, she would pull away slightly to spiritedly return to my crotch with her hips. 

This all sounds great. It was.  But here's where the underwear discussion comes into play.  Jeans are reasonably forgiving without underwear.  No zipper debacles or anything of the sort.  But when skin is pressed by means of hemodraulic force against them, they can become quite uncomfortable.  When ass presses said jeans against skin, which is pressing against jeans: 

Newton's laws plus biology=  Ouchie weiner.  

Blue balls, raw skin, and muscular atrophy.  When I get an erection lasting for a considerable time, and if any guys read this please agree or tell me what happens to them, the flesh of my penis and the connective supportive tissue holding it to my body gets SORE.  Like get some ice for my unit because I did one too many cock pushups sore.  It was a bittersweet experience.  Or maybe a sexy ouchie experience.