I posted on cL a few days ago, and got nothing in terms of feasible responses except one. She backed out on me, and I am once again bored. She was alright looking, better than my last attempt at this. It would have been something to do, something to think about, and something to break the monotony. As an update on some other things:
SG is a crazy person. Throughout the past months, I have come to realize more and more that this girl doesn't operate like most people. It's like she loves the idea of me on the other end of a phone, but she gets intimidated with me in reality. She's not playing games (ok, well she is playing games) but not in a quit-playing-games-with-my-heart style. I have never let her know that I have any regard for her as a person. No compliments, no affectionate emoticons in a text. She and I hung out once or twice, and every time she was clearly very happy to be around me. I don't want to date her, I just want to fuck her. The vendetta grows every day I don't get what I want. We will see how this pans out, but I anticipate we will see each other again once school begins.
I haven't talked to PG, save a few texts right after that night. I don't really think about her, but I did want to close the story. A night right before school ended, she and I saw each other downtown, I played it cool and aloof. End of story.
The Winner and I continue to get closer, but I see it not going well. She has a lot of self-esteem worries, inadequacies and the like. I have an impatient need to not have any kind of actual relationship with anyone that I cannot physically see. Her naivety in thinking this to be ok hurts me, since I will probably be the one to prove it wrong. If she lived here, I would really enjoy getting to know her. That isn't the case, and once again distance disallows me from that. She and I are set to meet in a city close to both of us, but home to neither. I am looking forward to that, as it will at least give me something to do.
