America, it's worth fighting for

I have a few cousins and relatives who are members of the military.  My older relatives fought in the wars in Vietnam, South Pacific, and Europe.  Every day like today, I mentally thank them for their efforts in securing my life as an American boy.  When I was in high school, I had a football coach unafraid to say what we were all thinking.  One April afternoon a 17 year old girl walked into the weight room (do Penthouse letters start like this?) and delivered some sort of message for the teacher she was aiding for.  Her shorts were testing the dress code, and she had enjoyed plenty of UV baths.  My coach looked at us after we all slackjawed stared, and said, 

"Boys, it's shit like that that makes this country worth dying for."

As I walked around campus today, the weather was warm, and legs were starting to come out.  Tan legs, little flip-flops, pedicured toes, and shorts.  Boobs or ass man, that's a little bit too simple, a little too outdated.  I like a lot of lady parts, but the waist down can earn my respect without fail.  Petite feet (I suppose all feet are small comparing to the skis at the ends of my legs) strapped into the foam sandal, flexing the taught tendon connecting to that shimery skin on the calf.  Connective areas in the body are so great.  When the hamstring runs into the back of the knee, it just calls your attention to the rest of the muscle.  Following that up, one is next forced to look at the shelf. 

 Most "ass men" know what the shelf is.  Where a butt hangs over a thigh, the place that requires you to curl your hand in the same shape and say "Boop!", that's a shelf. 

Every pair of sexy legs and ass I see makes me suddenly start clenching my jaw.  To have a girl lying on her face, legs straight, and to put my teeth right on the seam and bite. I have to find something better to do than stare, because I will start proposing marriage if I don't turn my attention.  MMMM MM MM MMM MMMM Tasty.

Let me have a taste of that, and I'll go fight Kim Jong Il. Right now. *America, the Beautiful begins playing, a fanfare*.  And I'll look that commie bastard right in the face and say,

"Listen you jowled grease ball.  The U S of A doesn't take shit from any punks with a few long range missiles and a chip on their little shoulder.  Everyone knows you guys got the 38th Parallel thanks to the Red neighbors to the west.   But my United States is here to protect the world from trash like you.  So go ahead, enrich your uranium.  The second it goes weapons grade, we'll be crawling up your ass like Sadaam down a spider hole." 

God bless America, and those lovely girls' asses.

SALUTE!