The doctor told me a few weeks ago that I am displaying signs of dysthimia, a mild and long-term depression. This summer has been one day stretched out over 3 months. I wake up, work, eat lunch, work some more, eat dinner, maybe see a movie or work out, I go to sleep. Over and over. Nothing interests me, nothing pleases me, nothing gives me pleasure. The apathy is painful. I don't care, so I don't do anything; I don't do anything, so I don't care. Quite the cycle.
School will start in a few weeks. Before that happens, I hope to have quit my job and met up with a friend from out of town for a few days of something fresh. There are worse things that could be happening with me, but right now, this is unfortunate. After the doctor told me this, I tried to remember when this feeling started, what the causes might be. My job involves working for my father, doing tasks which offer no reward, either financially or emotionally. Usually they take their mental toll, as I do not like the nature of the work.
I have to quit, but it is very hard for me to do so. The loyalty I feel has kept me doing this for 5 months longer than I wished, and I am trying to get this shaken off before I start my final year of college. I do not want to do it, but no other choice has presented itself.
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