SG, The Final Chapter..... For Now

When I last left her, SG had flaked out on me yet again, and I had sworn off talking to her. It lasted until November, when I walked literally right into her at the library around midnight. Being the idiotic, nice guy I am, I told her I would walk her to her care for safety's sake. Even though she greeted me like a junior high girl, I still kept a level head and made it to the vehicle. She was wayyy closer than me, and it was cold, so I asked for a ride to my car (okaaaayyyy, maybe it wasn't a purely practical motivation).

Most colleges don't have classes on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and mine is no exception. This was a Monday night, and I had small talked her and found out she was going home for the holidays. As we drive she says, "So what are you doing now?"

"Right now?"

"Ya, like right now."

"I had planned on going home and going to sleep."

"That's it? You're just going to go home and go to sleep?"

"As far as I know. Why? Is there something I should be staying up for?"

"No. I just, you know, am wondering."

I got out of her vehicle after an awkward silence and went home, only to discover my favorite pocket knife had fallen from my pocket in her car. I'm not a hillbilly or a terrorist, but knives are always good and handy things to carry around. This particular one had been my high school friend's before he died, so it meant a little more to me. I called her and texted to get it back. Eventually, after some very suggestive (on her part) and weird (her again) exchanges, she told me when I could zip by her house to get it before she went home for Christmas. And yes, it did take that long.

I walk in, and she pulls me by the hand to her bedroom, where the knife awaits on her pillow. All hilarious jokes aside (she and I have a safe word already agreed upon, it's rhubarb, no shiz), she doesn't just hand me the knife at the door, doesn't just bring it to me in the kitchen. She and I sit on the bed, get to talking, get to moving around, and wind up in what I would label a close position. No kissing has happened, nothing blatant, nothing directed. Just lying on the bed and in contact with each other, but not snuggling or cuddling.

We are having a nice time talking and just spinning it, but she hops up and jets out of the room. To this point, she had been trying to take her clothes off ("This shirt smells like my work, should I take it off?") trying to take my clothes off ("Do you have any scars on your chest?") and take her clothes off again ("Umm, SG, your pants are halfway down your bum." "Does it bother you?" "No, but I thought I'd let you know" "I like that you're looking").

Why did she get up? I thought maybe she was thirsty, maybe she needed to change shirts or whatever. She comes back into the room and says, "I'm going to have to kick you out of here soon, I have to work." Work was 4 hours away still, but I knew what was up. She was pissed I had stayed hands-off, so she was doing a take-away. Judge my interest, regain the power, and all that.

"I'll make that easy and won't fight ya. I'll leave without security."

I walked out, got to my car, and decided to go ROMCOM on her and go back inside and throw the feelings out there.

What ensued can best be described as her suddenly developing amnesia or denial, talking to me like I am a child, and her maybe being slightly idiotic. I asked her to tell me the story of our interactions, as she saw them, and then I would do the same. This exercise didn't work, so it eventually came to a point where I told her why I kept coming around: she's off the wall, unique, and unpredictable, which I want to know more about.

She said she thought we were too different. When I asked what she knew about me to make that determination, she couldn't give a satisfactory answer. When I asked whether she wanted to know me, she said it was a bad time.

And the crux, for the win, Alec: "SG, you obviously want to have sex with me, and I'm not ready for that until I get to know you. Do you even want to get to know me at all?"

"It's a bad time"

"So you don't but are too afraid to say it."

"............"

That was the end of it. Which explains some more of her erratic behavior.

A week later, I got a text from her: "I'm eating rhubarb pie, wondering how I could have gotten you to say it."

I think I already did.

Technological Issues

I don't know why my twitter feed on here is not MY twitter feed. On the back end of things, it's all correct. As for why it's at the bottom of the page, along with my archives and blogs I'm following, I don't know what the deal is with that.

If anyone who is still reading this knows how to fix that, help me, PLEASE!!!!

And as a corresponding note, facebook has led me onto girls at my school who are, to put it nonstalkerish, very interesting. Maybe that didn't work, but the point is, I'm interested in talking to them. Particularly one, or two. Both of these girls are friends of friends, and if I had the chance to talk to them, I bet I could woo them. Especially considering their ex bf's look like total doofuses.

Following the line of girls, SG and I had an encounter the other night. She was in the library at the same time as me, and I offered to walk her to her car, since it was midnight and didn't want her to get assaulted (however much she might enjoy or deserve it). Her car was a lot closer than mine, so I made her drive me to my car, since it was really cold outside. While in the car, here's how the conversation went:

SG- "So what are you doing now?"
Me-"Right now?"
SG- "Ya are you going home, what are you doing?"
Me-"Well, I had planned on just going home, and sleeping, because it's midnight on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving."
SG- "So you're just going home to go to sleep? You're not going to stay up?"
Me-"Ummmmmmm, ya. I'm going home"
SG- "I can't believe you're going to sleep right now!!! OMG!!"
Me- "Why are you asking? Is there something that I should be staying up for?"
SG-"What? No! There's nothing."

Another sighting with the craziest woman on earth (maybe second to Kari Ann from Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew). I dropped a pocket knife I keep with me while I was in her car, and I can't get the bitch to get it back to me!

God Almighty help the man she marries.

SG, Wow

I called SG on Sunday to set up a time this week we could spend together.  I had decided over the weekend to be considerate, to be more accommodating to her, to maybe show her a little affection.  We said Wednesday would be good, no set time, no appointments to schedule around (I asked), nothing.  

It's Wednesday, I text her to tell her when and where.  She laughs and goes along. 

An hour beforehand, she says she can't make it.  She has something to do at 8. 

UHHHHHHHHHHHHH. What?

I just responded by saying it's best she and I not hang out anymore. 

When we talked the other night, I told her she was flakey, I told her she was sketchy, and that I would give her another shot if she would just grow up.  

I cannot fathom what on earth is wrong with this girl. I've never experienced someone like her. 

People will read this and say what I have said to myself multiple times: "That bitch is crazy, and a bad deal.  Run for your life!"

This truth does not escape me.  Something about her draws me to her. It may be the physical attraction, it may be the fact that I'm crazy a little (see video), or it may be the fact that I am just so goddamn bored I can't function.  

Whatever it is.  I just want school to start.  I'm going to rush, I'm going to be meeting mad bitches, and I'm going to just forget about her.  

I'm embarrassed. (I just noticed that the middle of that word has the words bare assed in it, kind of like assumed).  I feel like I got fooled for the second time, and as George W. Bush as my witness, that's just unacceptable.

Last night

I went to a party.  SG was there.  We hung out.  Some funny stuff happened.  I made her lift her dress up and show me her ass. She kept touching my business.  Eventually we talked...

I told her I didn't want to do anything with her except hang out, and talk and get to know her.  She said that I was too cool for her, too good for her, that she couldn't understand how I would be interested in her.  I am pretty sure she's crazy, but when we started making out, I didn't care.

Making out.  It's like roller coasters, it's like hammocks, it's like cotton boyshorts.  The simple pleasures.  

Tasty. Biting, sucking lips.

SG, an update

As one of you already knows, the female known as SG has returned.  Not in the "I'm going to text you whenever I'm bored" way, but in an interested and wanting way.  She has been texting me all hours of the day, and I have been playing it surprisingly aloof.  Surprising in that I have been able to remain very guarded, and not stick my big dumb foot in my mouth and surrender my power to her.  

I think anyone dealing with college aged male and female relationships recognizes the emotional maturity this requires, and I will not disagree with this assessment.  If you want to play ball, sometimes you have to play by the home court rules.  Whoever can remain seemingly apathetic, confident, hide their neediness and desperation longest wins, so I will be sure to hold out.  

As for the girl in question, she stands about 5'3, weighs maybe 105 lbs., has natural blonde hair, clear blue eyes, and is so hot she nude models for the University art classes (we are in discussion about how I can get involved, 9 bucks an hour to stand around naked ? Hell yes! I'm in).  And good God she is silly! If I weren't so tentative about the things that have happened in the past with her, I would be more apt to be interested in her.  For now, I just know she's hot interested in me, and forgets to be relieved of her cell phone when she gets drunk.

3:46 am: "I can't wait to be alone with you."

I was asleep by this point, she was out "with her girls."

3:56 am: "And I want our first kiss to be amazingly perfect. Yes that means I want to kiss u...My girls say it's gonna be awkward when we kiss, cuz you're like a foot taller."

Before this, no mention of us even hanging out had been made.  It was just flirtish texts about nothing in particular. Later that day I got to hear about how she wanted to be in the shower with me.  This girl has spent maybe 20 minutes with me in person.  Anybody else think that's weird?  I'm not saying she's a skank (she might be, I'm starting to detect some body image issues), what I am saying is that something is coming off strange to me.  Maybe she's a girl that hasn't always been this pretty, so she has to prove her sexual power over men by being a bit-- more than a bit, a lot-- of a tease.  Her personality tells me she's not always been attractive, she's way too goofy and willing to laugh at herself to be a hottie from day one.  

I think we are going to hang out soon.  Maybe tonight, maybe a few nights from now.  I don't know exactly what to expect.  Furthermore, I wonder if I should let go of the past with her and just live in the moment and be ok with that.  What's the worst that could happen?

On a side note, and as a result of a huuuuuge help from mah girl X, I now have installed a better counter on my blog.  Mainly I did it so that I could track customer satisfaction, buying trends, and advertisement for product placement.  As a result I discovered that someone who has visited this blog is remarkably close to me.  I mean, like freaky scary, 5 minutes away close.  Does that concern me? Nah.  If the person in question falls under the female classification, and is hot, I hope she hits me up.  And to the fella that is now following my blog: Thanks.  For some reason, I just feel very flattered by that.  Female that is close to me, leave a comment.  If you pay attention to the posts here, I'm sure you could see that you are around me

Why I rule

SG worked in a business that I frequented in the past year.  She and I would exchange pleasantries, talk about school, and the crap that seems to be the topic of all meaningless conversation.  She is very much my type, if I were forced to list one: Short, natural blonde, blue eyes, petite. One day I came in to the business, where her coworkers, who also all knew me, told me she was hiding in back and wanted me to ask her out.  I had not really thought too much about it before then, I was not too confident, and not too interested in putting up with the dating thing.  One may have fueled the other, but I digress. 

Once she presented herself, we exchanged numbers and made plans for the middle of the week.  She had something come up, but she did call me that Friday to ask if I wanted to take the rain check Saturday night.  I agreed, we set up the details, and agreed to see each other in 24.  The next morning, while I was working, she texted me to let me know someone she had been seeing had asked her to be exclusive, and she was sorry.  That was the text verbatim. 

I'm not one to get upset about rejection, but I was pretty bewildered as to what had just transpired.  The thing that cooked my McNuggets was that it was a text, not even the courtesy to call.  I deleted her number, since we apparently didn't have any more business, and moved on.  I saw her at the frat party, after I discovered that the inside of my pants contained enough friction to start a fire for Tom Hanks on Castaway, and she decided to play it cute with me.

Since I had seen her last, I have changed. A lot.  I am mostly an ass to women, since they respond positively to it.  I don't Chris Brown them, nor do I maliciously insult them, but I do relentlessly jab, bust, poke, expose, and in all other ways make fun of them.  It's immature, it's predictable, and it's thoughtless. In communication class, one is taught to shape the discourse to build rapport with the recipient. So I don't feel bad, considering my audience.  

I was trying to watch Sports Center when she approached. She started talking to me, pulling her sorority sisters over to say "This is the guy I was always talking to you about", and otherwise interrupting my attempt to catch basketball highlights.  I humored her, disregarded her, and let her talk to herself before I realized something: I am still mad at this girl.  So in the spirt of revenge, of my recent emergence as asshole, and of getting some vindictive action from her, I turned it on.  

I busted on her about being fat (she weighs maybe 100 lbs.), about being a nag, about being maternal, about it all. Girls that get this stuff, and see that I am having fun, respond well and see that it's cool to bust back.  She didn't get it, which made it all the more fun.  Eventually she started talking about a friend of mine, how she dated him, how they had made out, and then she comes out with this gem: "He even wanted to cheat on his girlfriend with me." 

With a straight face, and no hint of sarcasm, I responded back in a monotone, "Does that impress most guys?" 

 

"Does what impress most guys?"

"What you just told me"

"It was just a statement, you don't have to be an asshole about it."

"It was just a question, you don't have to be a bitch."

She texted me Saturday morning to apologize for being a cunt (her words, not mine). She also asked if I wanted to go hang out sometime this week.

I haven't said anything back.