Layers of a man

A friend of mine was talking about her boyfriend, well, soon to be ex boyfriend.  She told me in the beginning of their relationship, he was nice to her.  Nicer than me.  She said she was attracted to him because of a subtle bossiness and demanding nature she detected.  She has told me in the past, as well as during the same conversation, that she is attracted to me because I am nice. Because I am brash, cocky, an asshole, bossy, and an overall jerk.  The same subtle bossiness she detected in him was smeared all over me, and the niceness he blatantly poured on her was sparingly given by me.  

Turns out the reason why she is breaking up with him is due to the fact that he has shoved her, threatened her, controlled her, and did all the things she perceived as subtle.  

Turns out the reason why she likes me so much is due to the fact that I am a kind, accepting, tender person.  

Turns out the reason I sit in class, walk across campus, go to parties, do anything socially threatening, etc. and silently judge everyone else is due to the fact that I am a kind, accepting, tender person who is frightened of people.  Frightened that the kindness will leave me exposed.  

Maybe people are who they say they are.  Maybe people are who you think they are.  Maybe people deserve to be emotionally dissected before a word comes out of their mouth.