Apologize for Apologies

I am sorry to anyone who reads this blog still.  Sorry for my negativity, for my angst, for my frustration, for the petulance that I appear to be filled with.  I am sorry for saying sorry for everything.  I want to make my life better, I want to see the world like I once saw it.  I want to understand the beauty within someone I hate.  I want to.  

The frustration lies with the dissonance between that cognitive want and a seeming inability to fulfill that desire.  I do not know what else to do.  I have used this blog as a canvas for my darkness, that part of me that I try not to share with other people.  I just feel myself becoming something I despise.  You are not responsible for suffering that.  I know better.  I will return to my light hearted, witty, shirtless subject matter, and let you know when my mental health treatment returns me to the man I was once, the man I should be.