On education

I am a student professionally. The value of texts, lectures, discussions is not lost on me.  Entering into any kind of performance evaluation, be it simulated or real, without preparing to the best of one's ability reflects a lack of resources (time, materials, etc.) or, more often, concern.  Up to this point, the best schooling I have had in regards to romantic encounters has been my own experience.  So, as a studious seeker of the best possible information, I have decided to educate myself on such things.  I began by reading some blogs on casual sex encounters--maybe my first interest wasn't education, but come on, can you blame me.  My schema of sex up to this point has been very dichotomous, blame my religious schooling, my hot and cold maternal relationships, my inexperience, a combination of all three or just the Freudian theory you are most comfortable with:  Women are not sexual beings, men are the aggressors, the great desirers of sex.  Men show their terribly uncontrolled souls at every opportunity possible, always being the perverts and uncontrolled hedonists every one knows them to be.  As a male of morals, integrity, and honor it would be out of line and disgusting for me to use women, to enjoy women, to enter into a sexual adventure with a woman for pleasure's sake alone.  

I am escaping this.  The blogs I have read, and people I have spoken to have turned my beliefs upside down.  Much like a class can change everything you once held true about a subject, I am finding more and more that women and men are similar.  There are hots and colds and pinks and blues among both genders.  If anything, it appears women can experience better sexual pleasure, in more ways, and with more frequency than men.  So logically, who would be more likely to go to a restaurant? The patron who could choose from a large variety of the best meals, eating and never tiring? Or the diner who can choose only from a limited number of dishes that all taste about the same, but only able to enjoy for a finite time?  Maybe too simple, maybe too metaphorical, maybe too unfair.  Makes sense to me, though.  

Now I have gone a step further in my education efforts.  I bought a book on how to increase my romantic ability. Not intimate ability! Romantic ability.  My pride is far too important to cliff notes my ability to enjoy the most satisfying part of sex for me-- pleasing a woman.  This book, I hope, will bolster and sharpen the skills already in place.  I know I have game, I know I have skillllz, but often it's a confidence issue.  I think this book will reassure me, will help me avoid some of my handicaps, and will be something to boost my confidence.  I was afraid to buy it.  My pride is something that drives me to succeed and causes nausea each time rejection is around.  It's also the thing that has kept me sex free for months now.  So I bought a book on how to help me attract females.  I want to meet women and have sex....ual interaction with them.   And I eventually realized I wouldn't try to do a job without reading the training manual, or take a test without listening to the professor, so why would I be stubborn and not increase my knowledge before I went trolling for cooch?  

PS If you think I really refer to women as cooch, you are right.

Some of the time.